This Is the Most Nostalgic Summer Playlist You’ll Ever Find
On chasing sorrow away with nostalgic songs of summer
Goodness can be found.
— Rachel Marie Kang —
My older brother spent the week in the hospital.
I haven’t shared much of his story in this space, but I did share a little bit about it in the first chapter of my book, The Matter of Little Losses.
“My parents tell me it was a needle plunging fresh into newborn flesh, that the vaccine was a vacuum that sucked dry every dream they ever held for him—my brother, the one whose body broke before I was born. They explain it to me over and over, but it never sinks in deep or long enough that my brother’s brain is damaged. He is different. He’ll never quite do anything as the rest of us do. They tell me it’s been this way since before I was born, and that it will be this way until the day I die.” —Rachel Marie Kang, The Matter of Little Losses
After a few days in the ICU and PCU, my brother is finally home. More on this sometime, someday. But, first, I wanted to share these few things:
I noticed something about myself. All through the week—while driving to the hospital, cutting potatoes for dinner, standing under the hot sun and watering my seedlings—I noticed (or, rather I felt) a certain expression on my face. A sort of grimace, paired with furrowed brows.
I realize, I carry so much grief, so many curiosities and questions, that they’ve all come to make a home on my face, a permanent dwelling place, right there above my sunken eyes.
This week, I found myself wondering: What if all of life is a struggle? What if there is no relief from stress and strain? What if all, not simply some, seasons are stitched through with the thread of sorrow and sadness? Will I cease from smiling? Will I ever carry the shadows on my face?
I sit in the hospital with my older brother, then I drive back to my mom’s house and delight in watering the garden. I think about the needs that press like heavy burdens heavy on my heart, then I smile while stealing glances at my sleeping sons.
What if there is no escape from the trauma, the headlines that wreak havoc on our lives? Secrets spilling out from the past, the sins of our fathers, our father’s father, and that of ourselves? Brokenness filling our souls to the brims. And what of transitions—will they ever be easy, effortless? Will we ever catch our collective breath long enough to bask in beauty? In the momentary delight of our days? Ice cream in cones, babies being born, bursting tomatoes on the vine?
How do we savor the sweetness of summer though life is unrelenting, though the wheel just keeps turning, spinning dizzy and dangerous?
I don’t know. However, this one thing I do know:
Though grief abounds, goodness can be found.
Though grief abounds, goodness can be found.
Though grief abounds, goodness can be found.
“In life, we often look for the bad more than we look for the good. We look for the hard that we know by heart, and we hold our gaze on the things that hurt. But there is something that I must whisper to you, something I must say before you come to the last, thin pages at the end of this book…Goodness can be found in the car rides with your grand- father while he tells you stories about moving the kids from one house to another. It can be the standstill of time when you snuggle up next to your son as he burns the eraser through sheets of loose-leaf. It’s the resiliency you feel as you make that daily run. It’s the distant sound of church bells and your favorite childhood playground, the friends with freckled faces you won’t soon forget.
Goodness is in all the moments you never thought to note as noteworthy; it’s in the memories that saved themselves into your soul.
It’s in the family meals that tell the story of who you are. A story that no one else can tell but you.” —Rachel Marie Kang, Let There Be Art
Contrary to the way it looks and seems and feels, all of life is not grief. Even still, goodness can be found. And, though I do not have the cure for all of life’s curses, I do have this one thing, this one way of turning to the past to bring about present relief.
Can it be that rêverie offers reprieve?
Yes—yes, indeed.
Friends, I don’t know what your summer looks like, or what sorrows you might be carrying in this season. However you are and however life looks, receive the gift of this playlist that I created with you in mind. I hand-selected all of the music on this playlist, choosing songs that, I think, evoke a collective spirit of release, joy, and fun.
Let go, for a while, and listen to Nostalgic Summer ‘24 Playlist:
Just this morning, I listened to this playlist while cooking the boys pancakes for breakfast. My older brother cracked a smile and sang along with track No. 8 (listen to see what song it is). The boys were dancing. Mom, too.
Even the dog was dancing.
Mm, yes—cheers to chasing away sorrow with nostalgic songs of summer.
All,
Rachel
Music to meditate.
Of course you’ve got to listen to my Nostalgic Summer ‘24 playlist. Think of it as a mixtape : ) Let me know if you have any trouble with the link.
Curiosity to contemplate.
This week, I want to use this space to give a shout out to two author-friends with recently released books. I’ll share more about these books later on, but just wanted to publicly celebrate the recent release of these two beautiful, powerful books—and their authors.
Beauty Is Oxygen by Wes Vander Lugt (
)Othered by
Prompt to ponder.
Tell me when you listen to my Nostalgic Summer ‘24 playlist and what you think of it. Which songs are your favorite?!
Then, tell me what songs are missing from my playlist. What are your favorite songs that remind you of good times and summers gone by? Tell me in the comments : )
P.S. I almost thought about telling you why I included certain songs on this playlist. Some of them hold more weight in meaning than others. Summer can be so sentimental, no? Anyway, if there are any songs on the playlist that make you wonder why I added them—ask away!
Recent features.
I shared this last week, but wanted to share again because there is a follow-up podcast:
Listen to my recent interview on the Peace Talks podcast by The Center for Formation, Justice and Peace. This conversation gracefully moves from one moment to the next and reveals the many layers of poetry—as activism, as a holding space for grief, as a way to name. This beautiful interview will stir you to something more.
Then (this is fun), listen to the recap episode where Bishop Todd Hunter and Katie Haseltine discuss the Peace Talks interview with Rachel Marie Kang.
DESK HOURS
Meet me in the comments.
Fridays at 10-11 a.m. ET
Note:
With this week’s hospital visits, this letter is coming out late.
As such, today I’ll be hanging around for Desk Hours until 12:30 p.m. ET.
Hope you meet you there!
If you enjoy The Fallow Letter, you can support my work by becoming a paid subscriber. You can also purpose, read, and review my books, Let There Be Art and The Matter of Little Losses. Please share this newsletter with a friend.
Can’t wait to listen the playlist. Thanks so much for sharing and I hope your brother is doing ok. Thinking of you all 🙏🏼
Such beautiful writing- hoping you have good times with loved ones and much healing to your brother